'Tis the Season

The lure of Christmas has always enticed me and with every year I feel myself inching closer to the prize of enjoying the holiday. My family has done wonders to create the magic of Christmas and each year I find myself smiling a bit more during the season.

Yet, I still feel dirty and whored out by the end of the season.

Like clockwork, every year America goes from pining for gratitude to sucking capitalism’s cock the next day. All that talk about how we are going to be grateful for the things we have and how we are going to be more interested in quality over quantity goes out to the curb with the turkey's carcass.

No matter how hard we try, there just seems to be one event stacked onto another. There are school concerts, holiday events for the kids, work parties, and of course, for those of us who are trying to get our name out there, the vendor markets where we frivolously try to snag our next customer.

My nervous system is depleted from the rise of the excess noise. Between the plethora of ads whenever I log into any device or program (I even see them ON my email now) and the damn influencers, there is never enough stuff to appease the masses. Not to mention, there are endless fliers coming home from various friends and communities (like schools) reminding kids about all of the activities they could participate in. My kids already have full schedules, adding on multiple events every week isn’t helping anyone get those coveted z’s. And yes, we do say “no” to many things but have you ever attempted to say “no” to everything? I dare you to try it.

Don’t even get me started on the music. Can we please find new songs?! I can only listen to Mariah Carey so many times before all I want for Christmas is to erase the song from existence.

Then there are the escalating amount of spam calls trying to bank on someone’s desperation to keep up with the Jones’. It’s to the point where I am now answering the phone and immediately acting excited asking how many human toes I can purchase with the loan and babble on about how it’s a delicacy in certain places of the world. They typically stay on the line long enough for me to explain the moldier the toe the more expensive it is. Nobody has made it to the recipe yet. There’s still time.

Then there is the stress of making sure the kids feel the magic. There is the stress of making sure the gifts we apparently need to buy and provide create a sense of thoughtfulness we may otherwise like to put towards I don’t know… a meaningful experience?

And when I say a meaningful experience, that doesn’t mean shelling out even more cash than you would on a cheap doll. Yes, new experiences are wonderful but nobody should have to break the bank to tell someone they love them. It means a fun afternoon hiking a trail. It means offering to bake cookies with the grandkids. It could mean playing games in the living room. No frills, no bells, and please for the love of God no whistles.

Warning: My mom chose to have a relaxing birthday this year and had us come to her house in jammies and we made candy houses. My daughter designed a guillotine and took a medieval approach to the home decor by using the severed heads of the gingerbread men. So, choose the activity and the participants wisely unless you have a good sense of humor.

Every year I try to wash my dirtied body off with the things I do enjoy about the season. Wash rinse repeat right?

Picking out the tree as a family is something I will cherish forever. There is nothing that beats the smell of walking into the Christmas Tree lot and getting hit square in the face with the scent of winter. Watching the twinkling of the lights as I welcome and end each day brings a sense of calm to the otherwise hectic season.

And then there is the baking. God I love the baking. It took four years to fall madly in love with it again and now, I am dying for an excuse to bake. The smell of the flour, sugar, and vanilla coming together is intoxicating. The methodic measuring, stirring, and rolling is enough to put me in a trance. Christmas is the perfect excuse to become an overzealous baker and this girl is here reporting for duty.

But what I look forward to most is the quiet moments with my family. Slowly waking up (yes, my kids sleep in the most on Christmas day) and snuggling on the couch is the best part of the season. They don’t beg to dive into the presents. Typically, they like to watch a movie while sizing up their gifts. There is no rushing to the next “thing”. Suddenly, the pressure to be perfect slips away like a thief in the night and we are allowed to enjoy the beauty of what this holiday is supposed to make us feel. There is peace and there is love on that morning. Nothing can take that away.

So, all in all, the season is a blizzard of expectations and the loss of any sort of routine can be a doozy. It can mean un-right sized expressions of emotions. It can mean fried nervous systems and dis-regulation. All we can do is salt our emotional sidewalks and hope it was enough.